But it still doesn’t seem to be such a massive leap away from the days when Tupperware was quite enough to bond over. And if Tupperware in the US can be credibly explained as bridging the gap between depression and consumerism, what can Ann Summers in the UK be bridging?The gap between what we know about our sexuality and what the pharmaceutical companies have in mind for us? Or the gap between the idea of sex that is continually sold to us, and the sex we’re actually having?d.orr independent.co.uk
More from Deborah Orr. In a further attempt to take your minds off the nightmare of the approaching Oscar ceremonies, I am arranging another friendly session on the war against Iraq. As yesterday, it is hosted by our guest expert, retired Major-General Woodley Green Over to you, Major-General.

Over to you, Major-General.
Same routine as yesterday, is it? Do you want me to sit over here, in this uncomfortable chair?That’s it.And answer more damn fool questions from your damn fool readers?Well, yes.And then take the money and run?That’s the idea.Fair enough. Fire away.Our first reader’s question is – Is it true that over a quarter of the British Army is being ferried out to the Middle East?Yes.Won’t that leave us under defended?Yes. Especially if most of the remainder will be out on duty putting out fires with Green Goddesses.Are you at all worried that someone might take the opportunity to invade Britain while all these vital soldiers are away?Someone invade Britain? Who are you thinking of?Well, for instance, Argentina, seeking revenge for the Falklands War? Or France, bent on getting the Channel Islands back? Or Zimbabwe, mounting a pre-emptive strike? Or Scotland, just for fun?No No danger of that. Now that we are full members of the EU, I think you will find that the bureaucracy and paperwork are so horrendous that nobody would ever be able to invade Britain again. Unless…Yes…?Unless somebody infiltrated a whole army into Britain disguised as asylum-seekers, and just waited for the right moment to throw off their asylum-seeking clothes, rise up and slaughter us in our beds.Good Lord! Is that possible?Just think about it.Mmmm…

but coming back to the war against Iraq, we keep being told that the British Army is ill-equipped, and hasn’t got the right boots or guns or anything for desert conditions, and the individual soldiers all have to buy the correct equipment out of their own money Any truth in that?Absolutely true. But that’s not the way we put it.How do you put it?We now realise that each soldier is the best judge of what he needs in the desert, and that he should be left in charge of getting it. It’s all to do with our new policy called Combat Choice, dreamt up by our new Arms Tsar. Chap called John Birt.Good God almighty! Is Birt in charge of Army policy now? That explains a lot!Have I said something I shouldn’t? Sorry – I’d better plead the Official Secrets Act there.