Forget all the minority stuff about selection and assisted places, most parents are concerned about who stands up in that class-room – so provide a costed plan showing how everything can be paid for by twiddling with VAT or mortgage tax relief. After all, you won’t have to deal with the aftermath.Remember, above all, the words of Danton: “L’audace, l’audace, toujours l’audace.” His second (and final) great saying, it must be admitted was “show my head to the crowd It is well worth seeing” Which at least, William, is something.. Amaze the Greens!Attack the Government for the recruitment crisis in schools and tell it that, while you agree with its emphasis on standards, these cannot be delivered without extra payment to good teachers. Join with Lord Archer in deprecating the absence of a Transport Bill in this session and in advocating radical plans to ease congestion in our cities. And watch those Liberal Democrats waver!Require that the referendum on the single currency (which will come into being within weeks) should be held in this session and not put off for centuries to suit the Government. It is, after all, your claim to be starting afresh, William, so lay into Jack Straw and enjoy the editorials here and in The Guardian, applauding your radicalism.While you’re about it, why not demand that the Government legislate for the creation of a fully elected second chamber to replace the Lords, place a draft bill before the House to that effect and then campaign for it? What would be so unTory about that? You could insist on some form of PR in voting for local councils, to help do away with Labour rotten boroughs. Read Steve Richards’ excellent article on this page yesterday and consider what won’t have been in the Queen’s Speech that ought to have been.

There is nothing whatsoever to prevent the Conservatives from becoming – say – the party of freedom of information. Drop all this sub-Telegraph fogey stuff and consult your own youthful instincts. I’m sorry, Michael, have I missed something here? Most motorists live in towns and cities (where they already pay higher premiums in case of theft or damage), so how can this possibly be seen as part of the fictional urban war against the countryside? Not many votes there, then.William, William, William. When it was reported at the weekend that the NHS intended to set up machinery to pursue insurance companies for some of the cost of patching up accident victims (surely a measure originating in Tory times?), the Conservative chairman, Michael Ancram, commented that the resulting increased premiums would be “regarded as another attack on rural interests at a time when the rural economy is in trouble”. Insofar as it works at all, it does so by increasing general cynicism about politicians. Memories of Neil Hamilton and the Scott Report are very unlikely to fade so rapidly that the Conservatives become the beneficiaries of public disgust.

And the backwoods, backward votes in the Lords serve mostly to remind everyone of how profoundly unmodern the Tories are.Nor will opposing for opposition’s sake go down too well. And I can only begin by arguing how the job should not be done. As far as I can see, Tory strategy in the last few months has been aimed at telling the electorate that New Labour is almost as bad as the Conservatives were when they were in power. Most of its proposals are either popular or relatively uncontroversial. Hereditary peerages to be abolished (I’ll enjoy hearing Her Majesty read that one out), the NHS internal market to be reformed, union recognition to be democratically extended, criminal justice to be speeded up, executive mayors to be allowed in such localities as want them, Sunday voting to be introduced, old ladies to kissed by young men and apple pie to be made with only the best apples.Now, the purpose of this article is to demonstrate how this speech might be opposed effectively and in such a way as to enhance the Tories. And the omens are not good.Still, it is the hand that Mr Hague elected to pick up from the table and now he must play it as best he can.